Ser Big Ears
by Faith360
Summary: Oneshot-ish. If only Delilah would leave him ALONE. Nathaniel has a little problem, and Delilah makes it a point to pester him about it for the rest of his life. Warning: Supremely annoyed Nathaniel and an impossibly cute child.


**Wow...it's been...like...FOREVER since I've actually been on here. Curse the Stolen Throne for finally making its way into my hands and giving me an insatiable need for Loghain fics. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be on here again...but alas, my fangirl ways just keep creeping up on me.**

**I really love Nathaniel. My female Dalish Warden (who is in here as such for clarity's sake) would have cheated on Alistair for Nathaniel if romance was an option in Awakening. I was extremely disappointed to find out it wasn't, and I was appalled to see the size of his ears in DA2. Thankfully I was with my best friend Star, who has my look of horror permanently stored in her memory. Everything just kinda went fuzzy...and she fell on the floor laughing...and I screamed 'NO! NOT MY NATHANIEL!' or something of that magnitude.**

**If you DIDN'T notice Nathaniel's ears in DA2, you might want to reload a save and look again. They're appalling. He could make tornadoes or fly with them if he had muscle control, according to Star.  
><strong>

**Anyway, I'm rambling again, as Merrill says. Enjoy Ser Big Ears (aka, Nathaniel) who has his own emoticon now: **0-_-0**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Tug. Tug.<p>

Nathaniel glowered.

Pull.

He growled.

Poke.

That's it.

He jumped up from his chair, pointing accusingly in his sister's direction. "Mother! She's doing it again!'

Arlessa Howe sighed. "Delilah, darling, please stop fiddling with your brother's ears. You know he's sensitive."

Her patronizing tone only served to anger her eight-year-old son further. He crossed his arms. "I'm not _sensitive_.'

His father snorted. "Stop tattling every time she touches you."

"I don't tattle every time she touches me." He narrowed his eyes. "Only when she won't stop pulling my ears."

"But they're so funny." Delilah giggled.

He glared at her.

"Nathaniel." His mother said firmly. "That's enough. Stop glaring at your sister. Delilah, stop aggravating him. That's final." And she went back to her knitting.

His father shook his head, returning to his chess game with eleven-year-old Thomas, and so Nathaniel sat down again, giving his six-year-old sister one final warning look before settling down beside her again, book in hand.

She leaned over his arm to read herself, an action he was used to, but this time she leaned too far. He gently pushed her backwards. She leaned forward again. He sighed and pushed her away. And she came back.

"Delilah." He whispered. "I can't read when you hover over the book like that."

But she didn't seem to notice.

"Delilah, move your big head."

She huffed and leaned back, pouting. "Nat, my head's not big." She giggled. "Not like your ears."

"Mo-"

"Nathaniel."

He sighed and slumped, glaring at his sister. "If you're going to sit here, be quiet and read _normally_.'

"I can't read normally, your big ears are in the way!"

He turned red and stood, shutting the book. "I'm going upstairs.'

"At least leave me the book!" Delilah protested. "Mo-ther! He's taken the book away!"

"Nathaniel."

He stopped in the doorway, sighing, and turned around, forcing his face blank. "Yes ma'am?"

She seemed so frustrated. With _him_. The irony of it. The cruelty, the- "Give her the book back."

He knew it.

So, he dropped the book rather ungracefully into his little sister's lap and slunk out of the room. A startled servant watched as he trudged up the stairs, muttering about how no one ever defended _him_.

He didn't slam his door, but he wanted to.

He did _not_ have big ears.

-:-:-:~:-:-:-

He sighed. "Delilah," He said placidly, turning to arch an eyebrow at her from his horse. "I can't possibly number how many times I've told you _not to do that_."

His thirteen-year-old sister laughed and threw herself upon her horse with what could only be described as the epitome of adolescent grace (which would be almost none at all). "Oh, Nat, I'm only teasing. You know I love your ears." She leaned over and planted a kiss on said ear. "Now come on. Mother will be quite displeased if we take too long.

-:-:-:~:-:-:-

"I'll be fine." He assured her.

"I know." She sighed and looked down. "I really don't want to marry that Cousland boy, Nat. It's not that he's not nice, or kind, or handsome, but I-"

He laid a gentle finger over her lips. "You don't love him. I know." He let his finger fall.

"Nat, without you here…you could very well come back to find me married off, whether it's to Aedan Cousland, or someone else. Do you have to go? Is being a squire so important you'd go all the way to the Free Marches?"

"Right now, it is. You'll be fine, Del. I promise." He kissed her on the cheek. "Be safe. Give those noble brats what for."

She kissed his ear, giggling. "You make sure all those other squires know how far you can throw a dagger, and I'll do the same for those noble boys. I might exaggerate a little." She leaned back and placed her hand on the side of his face. "Take care of your ears."

Her dainty fingers tugged on his ear.

For once, he didn't growl, but he did sigh heavily, knowing that by some strange twist of fate he would end up _missing_ that.

-:-:-:~:-:-:-

"Del?"

The woman looked up, brushing a stray out of her face. She dropped her laundry in surprise, letting the fabric float on top of the water in the bucket. "Nat?"

The grin on his face was immediate. When the groundskeeper had told him of his sister's whereabouts, the Warden knew from his serious reaction that this was personal territory, but even she hadn't expected just how happy Nathaniel was to see Delilah – or, at least, how much he showed it.

He swept her into an enormous hug, off her feet and spinning her around. She hung on to him, burying her head in his shoulder and laughing. "Delilah, I was so worried you'd died too." He set her down and kissed her fiercely on her crown. "What happened?" His worried look was back, taking over his eyes in almost an instant. His sister noticed and shook her head.

"Nat, no, don't think that." She placed a gentle hand on his cheek. "I love Martin. And so would you, he's a good man." Her smile brightened. "Oh, Nat, you have to meet Rylan. I've told him all about you. Sometimes he pretends to be a squire in the free marches. He's only two, but I swear that's what he's doing."

This seemed to surprise Nathaniel most of all. "You have a son?"

She smiled and nodded. "You'll have to come back some other time, I'm afraid. He's with his father at the market. They were trying to give me a day of peace but my hands needed something to do." She stole a glance to her forgotten laundry. "But that can you wait. You come inside and talk with me."

She suddenly seemed to notice the people behind him, pursing her lips in the slightest. "Nat, introduce us."

He straightened and did so, falling to the Warden Commander last so he could explain her presence. "She…they caught me sneaking around the estate, trying to steal back some of our old things. They were going to execute me. The Commander conscripted me instead."

"You're a Warden?" She was nearly as shocked as he had been when he learned of his nephew.

He nodded, a small smirk creeping up on him. "Much to my former dismay. I was…ungrateful. For quite some time. I must say I treated the Commander most terribly."

This was the first she'd heard of an apology. She accepted it with grace and a knowing smile, dipping her head. "Think nothing of it, Nathaniel. Catch up with your sister. I have other business in the city, and I'm sure I can manage without you."

He was sure he would never be able to repay her for what she'd done for him, but he'd think about that later. Right now he was with Delilah, scraping up as much stolen time as he could. As the Warden and her companions turned to leave, his sister tugged on his ear.

"Hey," He responded automatically, frowning. He'd forgotten what it was like to have her pulling on him.

She laughed. "Still have those ungainly ears I see."

Unfortunately, the Warden was still in earshot. He knew she was laughing.

Oghren and Anders displayed obvious amusement, leaving Justice to stand dutifully behind the Warden with no reaction and Velanna to take a few steps away in tasteful distance.

The Warden gave Anders and Oghren a good double 'swack' across the back of their heads – a sneak attack no one ever seemed to see coming, despite her reputation for doing it – and ushered them all along.

She'd get him back later.

And he _knew _it.

-:-:-:~:-:-:-

Delilah laughed, tugging on the little boy's ears. "Oh, you're ears are so cute and big."

The little boy squirmed away. "They're not big!"

Delilah winked at her brother. "See, he's got your ears. It runs in the family."

Nathaniel frowned. "Delilah, leave him be."

Sensing he had an ally, three-year-old Rylan ran to his uncle, clinging to his leg and peering out at his mother fearfully from behind. However much he loved Nathaniel's frequent visits, Rylan couldn't get over the uncomfortable feeling of the concept of actually _touching_ his stoic uncle. Nathaniel couldn't either.

But there he stood, turning those fearful, wide, puppy eyes to the only person who could conceivably defend his ears from his teasing mother, pieces of fabric from Nathaniel's pants balled up in his little hands.

Nathaniel didn't even give the boy a second glance. "Delilah, his ears are just fine. They're perfect." He placed a protective arm around his nephew, pulling the boy closer, if that was even possible. "If you're going to keep teasing him about it he'll just have to come stay with me for a little while."

Rylan looked up hopefully, eyes wide and pleading. "Really?"

Now that he thought about it, that might not have been such a good idea, because Delilah's eyes lit up too. "Now, there's a thought. Rylan, would you like to stay with Uncle Nathaniel for a few days? I'm sure you'll have fun. And you'll be good."

Rylan nodded enthusiastically, his worried pout still plastered to his face, giving him a frantic look. It was actually rather cute. Delilah leaned back in her chair and smiled at her brother. "Nat, I think you're right. He's known you a while, now, and I could use a few days without chasing him around. This is a good idea."

When she said it like that, he wasn't sure at _all_.

-:-:-:~:-:-:-

Rylan toppled over, bumping into a desk and hitting his head, sending books and papers flying, and himself crying to the floor.

The Warden peered in the room, eyebrow raised in shock as she held her month-old son against her chest. "Did he just trip over his own feet?'

Nathaniel sighed. "He does that." Rylan sniffled and rubbed his head, crying abated.

Behind her, Alistair laughed. "And look at those ears!"

Unfortunately, Rylan heard him. And began crying again. Nathaniel glowered at the Commander's husband, wondering again _why_ she always had to bring him along. The little one was no doubt going to be just as much trouble, no matter which parent he leaned toward.

Alistair shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. "I didn't realize that was a problem." He raised his voice so Rylan could hear, speaking to the little boy in a slower and gentle tone. "Your ears are good – trust me. I was just commenting on their….good-ness."

This didn't calm him down.

Nathaniel rubbed his temples. The Warden scowled at her husband. "Alistair, we might have to get you a book or something before Torrin starts listening to what you say."

"If he listened to everything you said, he'd be cursing worse than Oghren before he even _gets_ Rylan's age."

The Warden shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Sorry, Nathaniel. I'll make sure to steer him clear from now on. And anybody else who has the nerve to think Rylan's ears aren't wonderful." She winked at the little boy. "Next time I'll steal one of Anders' cookies for you." And she ushered Alistair away, chastising him about the proper treatment of insecure little boys.

Nathaniel shut the door behind them, shaking his head, and turned to the chaos his nephew had befallen in just a few short moments. It wasn't the boy's fault – he was just…uncoordinated.

He walked over and bent down in front of him, sighing as those big puppy eyes got to him again, and Rylan held up his arms, bottom lip trembling and tears streaking down his face.

Nathaniel scooped the boy into his arms, standing up and pacing the room in an effort to calm him, rubbing his little back as the boy sniffled into his now-wet shoulder. "That's all right, Rylan. Commander's right, your ears are wonderful. Don't you ever let anybody else tell you otherwise."

And in an unusual display of affection – as if he hadn't had enough already, with those puppy eyes – Nathaniel kissed the top of his head, and Rylan's sniffles calmed down into sleep. "Lub you Unca Natanel."

He sighed and rested his head on his nephew's, eyes closed. "I love you too, Ry."

0-_-0


End file.
